Some thoughts on therapy

Therapists are faced with the challenge of balancing helping someone with not changing them. Obviously, this is impossible, since everyone has an effect on everyone they meet, but it is the ethical approach to try and mitigate it. However, we're always shaping each other, engineering them to conform to how we see fit, and if someone comes to therapy with a weak sense of identity, they are really asking for the therapist [for another person] to construct them. I feel like therapists MUST be aware of this paradox, so...what is their solution? Do they tailor the person to be ready to have relationships again, to connect back to humanity, while at the same time shunning them from forming an intimate relationship with the therapist? What about the female client who develops intense feelings/obsessions for the male therapist? Does he 'prep' her to have a relationship with someone else, help build up [or break down] her defenses so she can leave the office feeling independent and immediately latch onto someone? Or perhaps leave them with the idea that they don't need to jump into a relationship? One would probably answer, their goal is to have the client leave feeling like they are making their own decisions, but it is awfully silly to suggest that we are in control of our thoughts. Determinism is at work, at some level, haven't you ever observed the strong power of persuasion? And what is therapy? Persuasion. The therapist is persuading the client not to be persuadable... Do you see a problem here? What if we [therapists] were to openly acknowledge and live in the fact that they are shaping people, and intentionally shape everyone to how they see best, set them up with a spouse, and beneficially control their lives? I mean...nobody really has that much control anyway, only the people who are not dependent on each other. The ones who can scratch their own back...and live alone in the jungle scratching it until the day they die. As I've said before, maybe these are the most complete people. What is our goal with therapy? Are the people who come to therapy really looking to exorcise tangible demons, or is it their demons driving them? I used to think I want to help people, but controlling others...making these decisions...on every level I find I prove it to myself it such a monstrous act.